Medical Student's Different Personality

Introducing: The Medical Student



As it has once again reached that time of year when an exam is looming, I felt it appropriate to compile a list of exam personalities that I have witnessed over the past few years. Please note, they are not a reflection of the students at my school (although some will invariably fit the description).

The Gunner

A classic personality. These high calibre front row revision jockeys are at the forefront of every year. They are walking textbooks that seem to run off self-satisfaction. To the Gunner, a pass is a fail unless they are right at the top of the year. They are ridiculed by the pack but always come off best.

The Sponge

Sponges have a seemingly unnatural ability to turn up to lectures and remember volumes of information without effort. Revision time is brisk for a sponge as they are already saturated with the key concepts. They are seemingly normal on the outside, often shamefully coy about their superhuman memory and always do well when it comes to results.

The Assassin

The knife in the back types, obsessed with knowing all but revealing nothing. If they have tutor notes, key exam information or intelligence from other sources you can bet your arse they won’t let anyone know. Often cloaked under a falsified claim to not understand even the most basic of concepts. Assassins are deadly in technique but often fail to make it to the very top, making them insanely paranoid of the Gunners.

The Insecure

One of the most irritating people to be around when it comes down to exams as they constantly fret over how little they feel they know. Often they will find themselves talking about how much effort they’ve put in, questioning the individual working habits of everyone they can and placing themselves into a self-deprecating destructive pit of doubt. Always amusing to watch but starts to become a nuisance after a while.

The Failure

You’ve got to love the failure. They are the ones who don’t turn up to classes, don’t do the coursework and flounder in the exams. Most of the time they couldn’t care less, but they collectively bring down the grade average.

The Random Fact Memoriser

About as useful as all the answers to Trivial Pursuit in a neurology exam. It may sound impressive, but the reality is no one could care less. So what if the Serum B12 levels of an adult male are between 160-925ng/L? It won’t help in the slightest when trying to identify the great vessels of the cardiovascular system. Random fact memorisers are wannabe Gunners, but fail to comprehend the irrelevance of information they don’t need to know.

The Deity

The narcissistic type, bragging their understanding of everything, blind to their own arrogance and refusal to accept reality when they receive their results. Deity’s are gods amongst each other, in social hierarchies and intelligence. They often leave exams early to make a point of their supremacy only for it to fall upon deaf ears.

The Underdog

Everyone loves an underdog, especially us Brits. The classic Hollywood love story of the guy who gets the gorgeous girl in the end springs to mind - only this is the real world. Despite the masses of effort they may put in (think Rocky montage) an underdog never has its day.

The Blagger

Blaggers score annoyingly well considering the party lifestyle they often lead right up until the actual exam. With minimal effort yielding maximal points, blaggers will continue time after time to surprise and infuriate the rest of the year with their seemingly endless streak of good fortune.

The Sick-Note

These self-excusing types always get the sympathy vote from overly kind-hearted examiners. Whether it’s last months cold, an impossible schedule of commitments or a set of unfortunate undisclosed ‘personal problems’ deadlines will be excused and marks will be generous. Not to be mixed up with those with genuine excuses.

The Hermit

Say goodbye to that student you occasionally saw at the bar, as they set themselves up for some serious time locked away in their cell with only textbooks for company. The sheer effort put in and their obvious absence helps fuel concerns amongst everyone else, particularly amongst the Insecures that they are not pulling their own weight.

The Artist

Will astound you with a Picasso-masterpiece that makes up the most dazzling revision schedule you ever did see. Often the very same types that incessantly highlight every single word in their lecture notes with a rainbow palette of coloured markers. A little less time with the colouring and a little more with the reading would greatly benefit the Artists.